Choice, Opportunity, Peace
Are you asking yourself these questions?
- What is wrong with this relationship?
- Why do I feel so worthless and unhappy with this person?
- Why won´t my partner change? If this person would only change, I would be happy.
- How long can I stand this situation? I feel so alone.
Relationships come in many forms. With every person who touches your life, you are in a relationship of some kind whether it is a romantic relationship, a parent/child relationship, an employer/employee relationship, or the relationship you have with a friend or acquaintance. Some people play a large role in your life and some don't, but either way, if there is stress or anxiety, there is an opportunity for you in the relationship. Every relationship we have plays a part in our lives.
At times, a relationship that started out beautifully can feel as though it is becoming disconnected and dysfunctional and full of unresolved conflict. You may be feeling hopeless and afraid. You may have turned to friends and family for help, but still nothing is changing. You don't know what to do next and this may be the time to talk to a counsellor.
To Love Others, First Love Yourself
In order to have a healthy and loving relationship with someone else, we need to first have a good relationship with ourselves. Often our irritations and anger appear to be directed towards someone else. Yet, when we dig a little deeper, it can become evident that underneath the judgments about the other person are often unconscious self-judgments and criticisms. This may not be obvious at first but with some gentle probing questions from a neutral third party such as a counsellor, we can uncover what is actually causing the emotional upset. In addition, we may have some defenses and barriers to being truly open and loving with another person which are blocking us from what we really crave; a deep and loving connection.
I have found that when we can appreciate and understand ourselves better, then our tolerance and compassion for others is also increased dramatically. This allows us to have the profound and meaningful relationships that we desire.
Relationship Counselling Touches Everyone in your Life
Each person in a relationship works toward increasing the awareness and the healing of their own negative core beliefs and the resulting negative behaviour. Sharing these findings with their partner or family members, in turn, opens up the lines of communication within a marriage, family, or workplace. This work is not about changing behaviour specifically; it is about ´changing my mind about who I think I am and then as I do that, my behaviour will naturally change´. The goal is peace of mind and loving communication.
“Tolerance for pain may be high but it is not without limits. Eventually, everyone begins to recognise, however dimly, that there MUST be a better way.” (ACIM Pg 22)
There is a better way!
What I will help you understand is that every upset can be seen from a different perspective and that every circumstance is there to help you recognize the truth about yourself and others. This change starts with you. You are the only one you can change. By changing your perspective, your life and your relationships will change.
Are you ready to change and grow to have the life you have always wanted?